Nothing Feels Like Home (Demo)

by Olivia Rafferty

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about

Nothing Feels Like Home was written in the summer of 2019, this version being recorded on my bedroom floor with a borrowed guitar.

It's about feeling alone and adrift after going through a big life change, with the knowledge that it would feel safer and easier to just go back to the way things were... And it's about knowing that you can't go back.

I had a little room in an apartment in South London that I only stayed in for a few months, below my bedroom window was a private allotment sheltered by the surrounding houses. It's that view I remember when I hear this song. A moon above the rooftops, or a couple smoking in the garden, a cat winding its way through a vegetable patch, or rain lashing against the windowpane. It was an in-between place, and in that in-between place I wrote Nothing Feels Like Home.

lyrics

I think about it every now and then
Phantom of your love
Ghost of idle touch
Seeping like a cut that's newly bled
Images of you
When you were still new

And the consequence of letting you back in
Not because I need you
Just because I can
Here at night I wonder if it's real
Every little longing
Everything I feel

Thunder in the garden and I'm lonelier than ever
Tell me now why does this summer
Feel like mid-December
There's a howling in my head
And eternity's forever
Oh my God

Nothing feels like home anymore
Anymore
No nothing feels like home anymore
Anymore
Anymore

I have tried to swim the other day
Making love to nothing
Praying to the day
Emptying myself to paper peers
Telling no-one nothing
Cannibal of tears

Thunder in the garden and I'm lonelier than ever
Tell me now why does this summer
Feel like mid-December
There's a howling in my head
And eternity's forever
Oh my God

Nothing feels like home anymore
Anymore
No nothing feels like home anymore
Anymore
Anymore

Am I a little martyr
At night I make my bed
Do I call for new beginnings
Or do I long for endless ends
When I lose I'm always winning
That's just the way it's been
There's a voice that I hear saying
Oh please don't let her fall in love again
But I think about it every now and then

Nothing feels like home anymore
Anymore
No nothing feels like home anymore
Anymore
Anymore
No nothing feels like home anymore
Anymore
No nothing feels like home anymore
Anymore
Anymore

credits

released November 25, 2022
guitar & vocal: Olivia Rafferty
mix & master: James Li

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Olivia Rafferty London, UK

crunchy homegrown songs by a scottish gal w/ feelings

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